Why do Christians Bury their Wounded?

 

How Many are You Responsible for?

This question has puzzled me for years in ministry.  Why do good christian people turn their back on their brothers and sisters who are hurting and wounded?  Why do they judge someone who has stumbled or backslid?  Why do they judge others more harshly than  they would want others to judge them and 10 times harder than they judge themselves?  I believe this comes down to pride and lack of understanding (actually lack of teaching) of the concept of Grace.  

This is a failure of the pulpit today.  For some reason, the idea that you are saved by Grace, and did nothing to deserve it or merit it is not taught in the church today.  What is taught is how to “be a good person” or a “good Christian”.  I believe that being a “good Christian” is an oxymoron.  Bet that ticks you off huh?  You are saying right now – Rider – you are a jerk cause I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN.  

In the new testament, there was no such mention of a good christian.  A faithful one-yes.  An obedient one – sure.  But a good one?  You see the world’s idea of a “good christian” would be a quiet one.  One who sits in the pew wearing his dockers and topsiders, freshly shaved, no ink or piercings and with a nice clean cut hair cut.  (no ponytails or shaved heads)

That is the church’s description of a “good christian”.  

So it is easy to bury the wounded that does not conform to that standard.  Stray from the in-crowd at church and they will turn their back on you quicker than a w0man can max out a credit card.  The wounded may even be their own kind who strays too far from the norm.  Perhaps one who is going through a divorce – even for Biblically based reasons.  

But I blame the pastors and elders.  They are the ones who permit or even foster this kind of behavior among their flock.  They are more concerned with keeping the peace (and the tithes coming) than in properly teaching the people that but for the Grace of God go I. 

The community that I live in in Kentucky seems to embrace this concept of abandoning those wounded. I have never witnessed this behavior so prevalent than I do here.  Again, I lay blame with the leaders.  I have witnessed a pastor’s wife intentionally turn her back on my wife, even though my wife was involved in that church for over 5 years.  You see, my wife divorced her husband because he had molested their daughter. If that is not reason for divorce, nothing is.  In fact, divorce is light compared to what that “man” deserves. God warns against hurting children.  Something about a millstone. 

Grace is all we have as christians.  Without it, we have nothing.  If you do not understand the concept of God favoring you even though you have never and will never deserve it, then you need to study it.  You did not deserve what God has done for you in the sacrifice of Jesus.  And there is nothing you can ever do to merit His favor apart from what He has done. 

All you can do is accept it and begin to understand the depth of it. 

The next time you see a brother or sister stumble, or sin, or backslide or whatever, have some compassion.  You do not have a clue what they are going through.  Just put your arm around them and tell them you are there for them.  

Next time, it could most certainly be you with those wounds. It has been me many times. 

RiderforJC – A many-time-wounded-follower of Jesus Christ only by the Grace of God